Children: Boundaries and Limits
Setting boundaries and limits as a parent isn’t just about discipline, it’s about showing how much you love your children. When we set boundaries as parents, we are teaching our children the skills they need to be self-directed, happy, and successful individuals.
Without a doubt, the boundaries you set will get pushed. It’s all part of the parenting experience! But when your child rebels against your guidelines, the goal is that they are only doing so because they know clearly where the line is. And that inside, within, and outside the line...there’s safety, security, and love there from their parents.
The Process Starts with You
What do you value and believe in and where do you stand on matters that are important to you? Although these are not always easy aspects of our lives to define, it’s crucial that your child knows who you are and what you believe because by starting with your own expectations, your child understands the importance and skill of honoring boundaries and limits others will inevitably set.
“...it’s crucial that your child knows who you are and what you believe.”
For example, if you promised to drive your child to the movies after she has finished cleaning her room, and she played games instead, follow through with the consequences. Don’t drive her. She’ll learn that you respect your own boundaries and mean what you say, and will eventually learn to respect her own as well as those of others.
Your children’s behavior is very rarely about you
It’s important to remember that your child isn’t intentionally trying to get a rise out of you. They just haven’t developed the appropriate skills they need to get their needs met. .
As stressful and frustrating as it may seem, testing boundaries isn’t a vindictive act from your child. It’s simply a process of self-discovery. As parents, our job is to understand this process, our place within it, and our child’s place within it.
The ultimate goal in being a parent is to react in a way that teaches our children how to positively get their needs met and help them understand how the world works and their place within it.
Interested in learning more about teaching children about boundaries and love? Connect with us on our contact page.